No Products in the Cart
Every town has something it's proud of.Some have beautiful scenery. Some have historic landmarks. Some have a thriving local economy.
And then there's Port Asbestos.
Possum Lake's longtime rival. A town with plenty of hometown pride and a reputation that leaves something to be desired. We've had our differences over the years. But when you're from Possum Lake, there's only so much you can say about the neighbours before somebody brings up your own track record.
Besides, every town needs somebody to look down on. Even if they're standing on the same level.
There's something special about a town with a name like Port Asbestos.
For one thing, nobody's accusing the tourism department of false advertising. While Possum Lake has its fishing, forests, and questionable handyman projects, Port Asbestos has its own particular charm.
Let's call it industrial charm. It's not necessarily somewhere you'd go for a breath of fresh air. But we're sure the residents have found plenty of other reasons to stay. And before we get too critical, let's remember that Possum Lake isn't exactly known for its commitment to public safety.
Especially when Red gets an idea.
Port Asbestos is the nearest "big town" to Possum Lake and it’s treaded with affectionate contempt.
"A Port Asbestos minute" used as a local expression meaning fast or immediate (S13-E12)
A bus ticket to Port Asbestos is second prize in a contest (S9-E02) not exactly aspirational
S9-E13: "We're so close to Port Asbestos, and it sucks"
S8-E04: "How do you figure Port Asbestos is the Promised Land?" someone was promised something by a guy there
Sounds/explosions routinely blow things "halfway to Port Asbestos" (S7-E11, S10-E16)
S5-E01: Port Asbestos hadn't had much rain in 12 years.
Despite being a nearby town, going there is always treated as a significant journey or mild ordeal
Port Asbestos Prune Fair (S8-E12 septics were pumped out there)
Port Asbestos Seedless Fruit Festival (S11-E02)
The Port Asbestos Marshmallow by Season 15, the town's new tourist attraction is a giant marshmallow found there (S15-E12: "Care for a Port Asbestos marshmallow?")
Port Asbestos has at least two hockey teams:
The Port Asbestos Aspirators (S15-E07)
The Port Asbestos Inhalers (S15-E09)
A tribute to our favourite rivals and a reminder that some things are better when you've got somebody on the other side.
The town has a surprisingly robust (if eccentric) industrial and commercial base:
Port Asbestos Marina run by a Mr. Dwight Cardiff (S10-E02)
Port Asbestos Shipyard (S10-E05)
Port Asbestos Nuclear Waste Facility from which a free sample was obtained via a sewage truck (S12-E05)
Coal-burning electrical generating station (S12-E14)
Port Asbestos Leather Factory offers tanning sessions (S12-E12)
Port Asbestos Army & Navy Store (S10-E15)
Port Asbestos Frame Shop (S8-E05)
Port Asbestos Video (S13-E14 a prize was awarded from here)
High Volume Chicken Ranch (S15-E14)
A gas station (S5-E14), a women's clothing store (S6-E07), a chip wagon (S6-E06), and a new restaurant (S11-E17)
"Crazy Bob's House of Fireworks" located in what was formerly downtown Port Asbestos (S15-E04), suggesting the downtown area changed significantly
Port Asbestos has its own local media ecosystem:
A radio station once so popular "every radio was tuned to the Port Asbestos station" (S5-E17)
A TV station at least two Lodge members had shows on it (S13-E10, S14-E08, S14-E17)
The Port Asbestos Daily Movement a newspaper; Possum Lodge once made its front page (S8-E04)
The Port Asbestos Journal another newspaper (S7 or S8)
The rivalry between Possum Lake and Port Asbestos is one of those things that never really needs explaining.
Every town has a neighbour it enjoys complaining about. And despite their differences, the two communities have a few things in common. Stubborn residents. Local pride. A tendency to make the best of whatever they've got.
And, of course, hockey.
You can complain about your town all you want. But the minute somebody from the next town starts talking, suddenly you're its biggest supporter.
And when Possum Lake and Port Asbestos are involved, there's no reason to expect anything different. You don't have to like your neighbours. You just have to make sure they know which side you're on.
It's part of what makes The Red Green Show so familiar. We all know somebody who's fiercely loyal to their hometown, even when there's not much to brag about. And we wouldn't have it any other way.
Mr. Dwight Cardiff runs the Port Asbestos Marina (S10-E02)
"Fabio of Port Asbestos" a local heartthrob figure (S13-E09)
Pam Stubbs Harold has history with her in Port Asbestos (S13-E11)
Leech Lodge another lodge from up near Port Asbestos (S6-E16)
A woman cop from Port Asbestos working undercover (S9-E03)
A woman who ran a chip wagon there (S6-E06)
Port Asbestos has a police force, but as of S9-E03, no women police officers ("Port Asbestos doesn't have any women police").Hmm…that woman cop must have had a very good cover!
Toronto once tried to dump its garbage at Port Asbestos (into an old abandoned quarry nearby). The Lodge went up to protest and successfully got the project canceled (S10-E03).
The Lodge also noted they "blew all our pollution up to Port Asbestos" (S12-E14).
Oil was discovered up near Port Asbestos in Season 13, triggering a search for a pipeline route (S13-E01).
Port Asbestos Institute for the Criminally Insane (S6-E10 briefly considered as a venue)
Port Asbestos Arena (S13-E13, S15-E05)
Port Asbestos Library (S10-E14)
Port Asbestos Golf Club (S15-E06)
Port Asbestos Little Theatre (S14-E05)
Port Asbestos Theatre in the Dark produced an outdoor version of A Midsummer Night's Dream (S14-E17)
St. Michael's Church referenced as a point of comparison for a church piece (S8)
In short, Port Asbestos is a fictional small Ontario port town, industrially sketchy (nuclear waste, asbestos history implied by the name, coal power, Toronto's garbage dump target), culturally active (hockey teams, theatre, festivals), and the butt of enough jokes that it clearly occupies the role of the nearest "other place" in the show's geography. Port Asbestos gets mentioned in nearly every season from 4 through 15 even though the Lodge members never quite go there with any enthusiasm.
You can revisit Possum Lake, Port Asbestos, and all the familiar faces on Red Green TV.
Fifteen seasons of questionable decisions, available whenever you need a reminder that things could be worse.
Plus, don't forget to check out our new Port Asbestos Compilation on YouTube 📺 called Polluted and Proud: Port Asbestos Hockey Tales.
So remember, we're all in this together. Even if we're wearing different jerseys.
Keep your stick on the ice.
