- My new "I'm Not Old, I'm Ripe" tour is now in full swing. There are meet and greets at every venue so stick around after and I will devalue any item of yours with my signature.
- Lodge Members are reminded to not pee on the vineyards in the south valley. The winemaker at Possum Lake Vineyard says it makes the wine come out tasting like bacon.
- Buster Hadfield set a new record in the annual Possum Lake Ski jumping competition by earning two medals with one jump. Due to a lacing malfunction, Buster's left ski took first place and his right took third. Well done Buster! Old Man Sedgwick took home the much coveted "Fewest Bones Broken" prize in the over 90 years old division.
- Harold wanted me to announce that he needs an extra player for his Dungeons and Dragons group next Friday night. He says "It's BYOD (bring your own dice) and all applicants must be fluent in elvish, have experience treating with black dragons, and be prepared to stay up way past 9pm." Although I'm guessing if you're a girl they might be willing to look past any resume deficiencies.
- Have a great April!
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